I've never been a talkative person. When I was younger, talking to someone was about as painful to me as a root canal and it's not much better now. I get all flustered and my face flushes pink. I start to get spoltchy and my brain turns to mush. It's frustrating to feel that feeling of my throat swelling closed and I just have to nod, put my head down and walk away. I say this because I was watching my DH today while he was working and was amazed at his ability to just talk to anyone. He literally took someone just walking by and had a thirty minute conversation with a stranger. A comfortable conversation too, like they'd known each other for years. When the guy walked away from the DH, he smiled and waved and the DH turned to me and said, "I have a problem. It's a disease." Then he smiled and I turned into blubering mush like I do so often.
Which got me to wondering- Is the DH's gift of gab much like my love for voicing myself through writing?
The DH and I are completely opposite of each other. It fascinating to me to think of all the things we don't have in common and that we're perfectly happy together. It annoys him that I spend so much time logged on the computer. At first I kept my writing hidden from him, worried that he would think me more of a nerd than he already knows I am; but then he caught me one night before I could shut down the computer when he came home from work. Then we had the writing conversation. "I'm only doing it for fun. I'm bored while you're at work." He shook his head and I'm sure didn't think anything of it.
Only problem was, it wasn't just for fun for me. Writing has turned into an obsession for me. In just a little over a year, I turned from a bookaholic to a writeraholic. I don't imagine that anything will ever come from it, but there's that tiny little fire in my heart that just keeps on living.
Is there anything that you keep secret, just so that you have something for yourself? Something that makes you happy to do? Like reading is my second favorite passion. I leave books everywhere so that at any given moment, I can pick up a book and read a few paragraphs. Was there a pivotal moment when you came out about your writing to a loved one, and you were so excited only to find out they weren't? Does it or will it stop you from doing what you love?
Thursday, June 14, 2007
The Obsession of Writing
Diary Entry of Sin at 10:16 PM
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6 comments:
I'm pretty much the female version of Matty. I can talk to anyone. For hours. And have. I'd like to say it's from working on the radio for years but I've been this way since I was a child.
A couple of weeks ago this guy I went out with said he didn't want to talk to me on the phone too much before our date or we wouldn't have anything to talk about. I assured him I never run out of things to talk about. Of course, I never heard from him again after that date so maybe I talked him to death. LOL!
I can't think of anything that I hide. I'm honest to a fault and I just spit things out. No matter how much I tell myself I'm not going to talk about something, it just comes flying out of my mouth. It's an affliction really. *sigh* One of many.
Sin, I feel your pain. Miss Wilhite (now Mrs. Voorheis) sent home my 4th grade report card, saying I never talked. My father thought this was a "typo" of sorts because it couldn't possibly be true.
In college I got "better" or at least more talkative; and I admit I can stand in a grocery store line, if I'm in the right mood, and start talking to the person next to me like we're neighbors and we're having a cookout later. Your DH's quality is one of my favorite things about him--he always makes me feel like someone he wants to talk to, to joke with. He instantly puts people at ease...well, except when he shows the occasional email, but that notwithstanding....
I hide my writing quite a bit. I have to like you quite a bit for me to be willing to share it. And I rarely discuss my writing with family members because I don't want to hear: "Well, why don't you become a teacher?" or "Why write that? You know I don't read such trash."
I need to add an important amendment to my last statement: Not only do I need to like you, I have to feel I'm not burdening you with my chapters. If I feel you're already overworked or busy, I won't share my chapters because I don't want to add to your load with my fluff.
Especially if someone, and I'm not pointing at anyone specifically here, is like a massive writer who edits profusely for half of a fan fiction club--I mean, seriously, who would have time or even the inclination to read anything more?
I love the way you manage NOT to point that finger in anyone direction. LOL! But since I've seen some of your chapters I feel kind of special now.
You like me, you really like me.
*sniffle*
*giving the look* Har har har, not pointing fingers, my ass. I'd love to read your chapters but I'm not going to force you. It's hard for me to share my writing at all. I'd hate to *nag* someone to show me a chapter.
Besides, I know you don't like me. ;)
I think Terrio and Matty might have been made for each other. They have much more in common than I have with him. *scribbling* make sure to keep Terrio and Matty apart... they will never shut up.
We're made for each other huh? You know, you probably shouldn't make yourself more valuable to me dead than alive. LOL!
I wonder if I could get that ring sized up?
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