Behind Blue Eyes

My 500 word challenge- Answered! Take that!

2009-06-23T22:59:00.003-05:00

So on Friday, last week, the pirates in the comments of Friday's blog, issued a 500 word challenge to everyone reading. The goal was to write something that weekend to just get the creative juices flowing. I have been having a difficult time lately sitting in one place and writing. But I managed it this weekend (a little) and a lot more this week in my slow minutes.

And yes, Lisa, I managed to get in the skin on skin challenge too- it's just not here.

Here is a little taste. This is planned for Sadie's second book, tentitively unnamed. Sadie is looking for her younger sister and has gotten herself into quite the predictiment posing as a waitress at a strip joint. Sadie's cousin, Kiki, has sent someone to watch over her. Fireworks ensue.

***

"Why me?" I took a deep breath and Cherry shook her head. "I'm the least attractive woman here."

Cherry reached behind her and grabbed two shot glasses and a bottle of cheap whisky.

"Well, honey," her voice smooth southern sugar as she poured us two clean shots to the brim. "Sooner than later all of heaven's angels have to fall into hell to be tested. Maybe this is your test." She handed me a shot and pursed her lips. I watched her tip the shot glass back and she sat the little glass behind her. "Just remember to smile, act like you want him to have a good time and don't say a word."

I stared up at her with wide eyes and she gestured to my shot glass, "Now drink up. You need all the liquid courage you can get."

I took a deep breath and tipped the glass back. The liquor burned past my lips, set fire to my nose. My eyes started to water. I couldn't even open my mouth to choke out, "Help, I'm dying!"

A weak cough made it past my lips and Cherry laughed, and patted me on the back. "Whisky virgin. Oh, honey, you've got a lot of living still to do."

I nodded, wiping the tears running down my face. There was a fire in my nose and the warm liquid only filled my stomach with more butterflies. I hated to tell Cherry this wasn't the type of living I wanted to do. "Thanks Cherry. I feel better."

"Don't mention it, sweets." She glanced over my shoulder and gave me a look. "Rob's on his way over here. Turn around and smile. It's the only way to get him off your back."

Cherry turned away from me and gracefully took the tray off the bar. She winked as she sashayed by me and Rob came up beside me, closer than I cared for and I plastered a smile on my lips.

"He's waiting for you in the last room." He took my arm and turned me in a half-circle checking out my ass. "You don't have time to change, so you'll just have to do."

"But the last room is the room with all the mirrors." I protested weakly as Rob steered me in the direction of the dark hallway. He gave me a little shove in the direction of the room and stood in my way of backing out and bolting for the door.

***

It's been a year...

2009-06-20T21:43:00.002-05:00

And I'm still no closer to being done than I was before. In fact I might have less done now than I had before.

It is a curse. I write. I delete. I write. I change my mind. I write. I hate it. I write. The character changes character.

Honestly. On my scouts honor. Or whatever.

The challenge this weekend is 500 words. Now, they (the pirates) didn't exactly specify what the 500 words intailed. I must do something because Hellie said she was going to skin me and considering she's within skinning distance, I don't want to chance it.

So, 500 words, here I come. Wednesday I'll be blogging about it for sure. I don't have anything else to report. Other than writing is a slow process, only made slower by self doubt and reservations about what you're writing.

Could it be?!

2008-05-14T13:54:00.003-05:00

Out of the five pirates plus Hal, I've updated my personal blog more recent?

How the hell did that happen? And I don't even have time for it.

I just thought I'd bask in this moment for a minute or two. I always get shit for not updating my blogger. Truth is, I never have anything good to talk about. I'm a procrastinator. We don't make conversation. We invent them in our head and have it with ourselves. Easier that way.

I thought I'd also take this opportunity to say I'm hoping to write 20k each week until my WIP is finished. I have a good start. Three days I've written 12k and hoping to write more tonight.

So how goes it, peeps? How's your word count coming along? Or should we go by page numbers?

Say What

2008-05-09T09:12:00.003-05:00

Let's face it. I'm not nearly as witty as my last post. So if you're back to read something worth your time, you've probably stepped into the wrong dimension. I suggest backing up three feet, making a right hand turn, following the gravel road up about 50 paces and going over to the group ship, www.romancewritersrevenge.com

I've been writing lately, which is a testament to how utterly desperate I've been to rekindle my passion for the written word. I got out of the habit of writing everyday, using good excuses like my DH slobbered on my keyboard, my hair is caught in my round brush and I can't get it out, and my personal favorite, we don't have anything to eat in this house- I guess I'm just gonna have to have ice cream once again. I mean, I can come to terms with my procrastination abilities. I have mad procrastination skillz. I've been honing them since I was a baby in the womb. I mean, anyone who can hold out on being birthed for seven days deserves some sort of procrastination award. (That's a prop to you mom. Happy Mom's day. I'll be honoring you with Chinese take out on Sunday.)

So today's lesson in my procrastination is dialogue. I rather suck at it. Lots of people have said I don't, they truly must not know what the word "sucks" means. It's not that suction cup thing you do with your mouth either, Hellion. I'm talking about sloppy, uncoordinated, crap that spews from my fingers to the page. Stuff that doesn't even make sense when you try to read it aloud/out loud (screw it, either one works). So I've taken a lesson from the DH, Mattycakes.

Mattycakes is an accomplished conversationalist. This makes up for my lack of talent in this field of study. Not only can he just walk up to a random person in the mall wearing an Iowa football jacket (No, I'm not going to let it go. You know I was Christmas shopping and in the zone.) and talk to this man like he'd known him all his life (which I'm starting to wonder if not all Iowans aren't introduced at birth so they can hone in on each other while driving down the highway, walking down the street or using the bat signal). He talked to this guy for an hour! AN HOUR! All the meanwhile, I'm running around like a chicken without a head, screeching like a banshee while kicking packages down the tiled mall floors. I crawl back to him, packing packages on my back like a pack horse and these two grin at me like Cheshire cats.

"We're having dinner with Bill and his wife."

Oh, no we're not. "That's nice. Help me get these packages to the car or I'm going to murder someone with my tennis shoe."

Bill looks at me quietly, eyes sorta wider than they were when he witnessed me as a pack horse. "Can you do that?"

Mattycakes says very flippantly. "She's a mystery writer. She thinks she can do anything."

ARGH!

Dinner was very nice. Bill and his wife, Laura, were from Storm Lake, which is someone near Ft. Dodge apparently. Mattycakes remembers going there during the summer. All the while, I'm drinking like a fish, thinking about all the crap I have to wrap. We get home. I pour myself into my chair, presents forgotten in the back of the car.

Mattycakes can talk to anyone about anything. So for me to learn how to write dialogue, I take the Mattcakes class of Diarrhea of the Mouth style of Dialogue. Synopsis of this class would include:

How to make your mate uncomfortable in social situations.
How to walk up to a random stranger and talk for hours on end about Iowa. (Seriously, what the hell is there to talk about?)
How to be witty in awkward situations.
How to laugh at yourself. (Trust me, I have this in spades already.)
How to toss out one liners that make people stop in their tracks.
Acronyms- Making new ones and pushing boundaries.
And last but not least- Being a master of the double meaning.

Now, combine this with my already mastery skill of snark and sarcasm and I would be the ultimate conversationalist. So I've employed a new sort of experiment on my DH (You wouldn't be surprised on how often this occurs in our household.) Instead of trying to get him to push me up against a wall and make out with me (Trust me, I'm still working on it.) I've now started to draw him into weird conversations about stuff that happens in my WIP.

Conversation 1- Let me set the scene. He's just got home from work. I'm chillin' in my chair with my laptop. He drops his gym bag on the floor and flips his shoes off. I get up and follow him into a kitchen. I lean against the wall and watch him at the stove, much like what was happening in the scene I was working on.

"What are you doing here?"

He pauses what he's doing and gives me a sideways glance. "I live here babe. What's it to you?"

I grin and walk into the living room. I record this down like a court reporter.

Conversation 2- I'm sitting in my chair with the laptop, Internet is pulled up. I'm doing a little research on guns. I normally minimize my research, otherwise the DH thinks I'm thinking up ways to get rid of him mafia style.

"What do you think about this one?" I point to the Sub-Compact Beretta. It's a nice gun. 13 round magazine. My heroine could definitely use this one.

Mattycakes gives me a look, puts his hand on my head and leans over me. "This little gun holds 13 rounds?"

"All the better to blow your head wide open dear."

Sadly, he didn't find that as funny as me. Probably didn't put enough sarcasm into that one. Maybe that's not good as a one liner. I dunno.

Conversation 3- Katy Trail. Take One.

"How long do you think it would take before they found a body floating down the Missouri in McBaine?"

"I dunno. Are we contacting the police by Morse code?"

Conversation 4- Katy Trail. Take Two.

"If I were going to meet you down on the trail, where would you suggest?"

Sideways look. "Is this a trick question?"

"I would meet you at bridge 13. That way I can dump you over the edge and you could float down the river. Does that help make up your mind?"

"Yeah. It does. I'd meet you at Stadium and shove you out into traffic."

To which he got the eye roll and a "Yeah. Right. I'd wipe the floor with your ass."
---

So we know he's a spoil sport. But he's good for entertainment value. But he is still clueless so I'm having some fun with that.

So the point of the blog was- well, to talk about dialogue. And to ask, any good one liners you've had in the past that you're using in your WIP? Ever read any good ones that really stuck with you even after you closed the book?

PS. Hal, you're still kicking my ass, but I don't feel bad. I'll catch back up. Sooner rather than later.

Killer Fiction's Deadly Beauties

2008-04-29T08:44:00.007-05:00

http://killerfictionwriters.blogspot.com/

Considering I update with the lightening speed of a sloth, I figured I'd take this time out to pimp the ladies at Killer Fiction and their hella great blog where you can find all sorts of goodies. I mean, personally, I stalk the site over there. Mostly as a lurker (because, let's face it, I can't remember anything to save my soul from hell and by the time I remember to check blogs, everyone has already said my opinion), but after seeing Leslie Langtry this weekend, she has reminded me of my duty as her stalker to help her out.

http://killerfictionwriters.blogspot.com/

But this isn't the point. I always get way off point. Another author that I adore is Gemma Halliday, who I've not had the pleasure of writer stalking yet. Gemma has a contest going on right now for an ARC of These Boots Were Made for Strutting. I must admit, I would love this book. I've never met a Gemma Halliday book yet that I haven't liked (even if only one of the stories is hers, I still want this book!). Her character, Maddie Springer, would be my best friend. I mean, hello, she's a shoe designer. I LOVE SHOES! I have these funky little white/black wingtip 4" heels that I wore in Chicago this weekend. I absolutely adore these shoes. We'll not mention that by wearing these heels, I become 6'4" because I'm not bitter or anything. Thank god for tall hot men like Ramirez. Jack Ramirez, whom I've loved faithfully since I first cracked open the spine of Spying in High Heels way back in Sept '06 and have been a faithful follower ever since. Even my girlfriend, Hellion, won an ARC of Undercover in High Heels and it was like she was telling me I had won the Golden Heart, a RITA, a multi-million dollar deal. I tackled her, ripping the book from her hands and nearly devoured her in my haste to read it.

I mean, she was going to give it to me. I didn't have to tackle her like I was a NFL linebacker. LOL

I'm sitting here in my office drinking my coffee in shock.

I've come to realize in my blogging haste that I've never written Gemma a fan letter. Wow. I'm like the lowest toad on the totem pole. I adore her books and I've never told her. I should be made to wear flats for a week as my punishment. Gemma, if you are reading this, I love your writing! I love your characters. I love your writing voice and every time you write Jack Ramirez on a page I want to slide out of my chair in a molten pool of lava and fan myself like a ridiculous school girl with a crush. Rock on Gemma !

Now, the point of this blog is to enter me in the contest to win the ARC of These Boots Were Made for Strutting. Go here ---> http://killerfictionwriters.blogspot.com/ and tell the world about this book! And about Gemma's High Heels series! www.gemmahalliday.com Don't miss this series! If you like Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series (which I cut my writer's teeth to) then you're missing out on another series just as great in Gemma's Maddie Springer books!

And of course, but last- but certainly not least- Leslie Langtry's next book, Stand by Your Hitman comes out in September 2008. This is another series if you haven't been reading, you must be in a underground bomb shelter with a record playing and wearing a poodle skirt. Get thee butt to B&N and pick up her books! http://www.leslielangtry.com/

http://killerfictionwriters.blogspot.com/ Don't forget this blog! And maybe sometime next week I'll update about my own lack of progress. *g* To which, Hal, smile it up now girlfriend because if you give me a week or two I'll be kicking your ass again on the war of words.

Prologues

2008-04-22T20:41:00.006-05:00

I've been debating this for a long time. To prologue Double Vision or not to prologue. Right or wrong.

It's hard to know what to do.

Just to tell you a little about it. I'm writing a crossover fiction series, probably more suspense than romance. Like a 80/20 split. Action is what I'm good at. Stick with what you're good at, at least that's what I heard.

There is a lot going on in Double Vision. In a short vanilla version of a blurb, Sadie Michaels returns home to rural mid-Missouri after a ten year absence. Her gig with the FBI has gone sour after a botched crack into a high-level overseas operation. With her cover blown, the FBI ices her, sends her on her way until they feel it's okay for her to go back to work. With no place to go, and her father dying of cancer, she comes home to a mafioso type questioning her about where she's been, a local FBI agent asking questions about her dead sister, and a couple of goons that look like straight trouble. Sadie decides the only way to keep herself safe is to get to the bottom of it all. By doing what she does best, sneaking.

Along the way we meet three guys who've been important in Sadie's life. Calvin and A.J. Kincade grew up with Sadie. Cal was Sadie's best friend until one night between her and A.J. doused any hope he had. A.J. who saved Sadie from a tornado as a child, was in love with her sister. And Manuel Ruiz, fellow FBI agent, and whom Sadie has had a "loose" relationship with for five years.

I have one main plot. Two subplots. And a twist at the end, I hope you don't see coming. I have a few character deaths. A past to sort out and a life to redeem.

So in my quest to tell a well rounded story in the first book, I feel I need the prologue. Does anyone have any thoughts on a prologue? Love them, hate them, skip them?

And Marn, Hal and the rest of the word count crew, count 'em up! What's new with you guys?

Neglicting My Duties

2008-04-01T10:44:00.001-05:00

So, as I said, once again I have neglicted to update every week on my progress. But as most people know now, I've not been working on my original like I should. I had some important, unfinished business to attend. After this week I will be back to work on the original, kicking ass and taking names.

So watch out Marn and Hal. I've got your numbers. *grin*

New Beginnings

2008-03-17T16:09:00.003-05:00

St. Patrick's Day is the mark of a new beginning for me.

As of today, Haleigh and I are racing to the finish line of our manuscripts. It was decided late Friday night and into Saturday and then finalized yesterday that we will pace ourselves to be finished with our manuscripts by the end of July. August at the latest to enter in the Golden Heart in November.

Why are we doing this to ourselves?

Haven't quite figured that out yet. Last night I cranked out 11,000 words. To add to my count, so I'd say I've got quite a substantial lead on Ms. Haleigh. That puts me at a little over 20k babe.

I've gotta read over it tonight *ducking from Hal pitching pencils at me*. I know we said we were going to shut the editor off, but you know me. I just can't.

So here's the deal. We've decided that we will do 500-800 words a night. 3,000 words on each night of the weekend. If we don't keep up our end of the bargain, it is your duty, as a righteous reader, to pester, harrass and generally make fun of us until we get to it. There is no room for procrastination and each week we are to report our progress. I'd say I'm reporting in on every Monday. But we know how I am with promises...

Look for Haleigh's postings at the link on the right hand side. And wish us luck!

Unlawful Contact!

2008-02-01T10:15:00.000-06:00

OMG! I'm so excited!!

One of my favorite authors, the wonderful and very talented, Pamela Clare has agreed to blog over on the ship ( http://yohowriterslifeforme.blogspot.com/ ) on Wednesday, March 19. She's going to be talking about her new release, UNLAWFUL CONTACT, the third book in her I-Team investigative reporter series.

About a year and a half ago, I stumbled onto Ms. Clare's second book, HARD EVIDENCE, and I couldn't put it down. It was a scene stealer. It was fabulously written. HARD EVIDENCE blew me away and with the excerpt posted on Ms. Clare's website ( http://www.pamelaclare.com/ ) tells me that UNLAWFUL CONTACT will exceed it and I can't wait!

I wrote a book review for HARD EVIDENCE about a year ago. I was just so taken with Ms. Clare's writing style.

*********************************************************************************

Title: Hard Evidence
Author: Pamela Clare
Series: I-Team Investigative Reporter
Books Prior with Relevance: Extreme Exposure
Published: October 2006
Reader Stars (1-5): 5

Review:

I’m normally skeptic about starting a new author; especially authors I’ve never heard of, seen around when I’m scouting for books or came from word of mouth. I was desperate for a book, having read all six that I took with me on vacation and needing something to soothe me on the plane ride home. I spent a couple of days looking, not finding anything I hadn’t already read or owned at home when I found “Hard Evidence”. I will admit what drew me to the book in the first place is the cover (because I thought if the cover was from one of the written scenes than I figured it had to be somewhat hot even if the storyline wasn’t all that fantastic, I could suffer through). But boy, oh boy was I glad I took a chance.

“Hard Evidence” is a romance suspense novel written in the third person so that you see through the eyes of the Special Agent/main hero, Julian Darcangelo and hardcore crime investigative reporter/heroine, Tessa Novak. Tessa Novak is an eye witness to a brutal drive by killing at a gas station and doesn’t know that she’s accidentally stumbled onto a case that’s been building against a violent prostitution ring leader by the name of Burien for three long years. When deep undercover Special Agent Julian Darcangelo shows up at the crime scene, Tessa mistakes him as the killer, and writes a first person eye-witness statement that goes first page, giving Julian’s description out for the world to see. As you can imagine, things get heated between them when Tessa can’t seem to keep her nose out of Julian’s business and the only way to keep her from doing so is to keep her under 24 hour surveillance at all times- at his own home. Along the way, both characters past lives are revealed and a terrific plot is weaved and solved, but this writer never stumbles one step. The book was wonderfully written and edited, enthralling all the way throughout the book and I couldn’t put it down.

I will warn that scenes in this book are very graphic, the language is very coarse in some parts and the sexually explicit scenes are enough to make the ink melt off the pages. “Hard Evidence” was a great mix of everything that I love about fiction: the grit of the author, the spellbinding emotion put into each word, paragraph and page and the exceptionally weaved plot. The book isn’t a lighthearted read, expect to find yourself challenged emotionally for the characters and fighting for them to do the right thing and thinking about it after you sit it down. It’s darker in a sense of the subject matter and the way she writes: very angsty, very driven, very worth the read and time.

I’ve ordered the first book and expect it this week. I imagine that it will live up to my expectations or more and this author is a sure buy for me from now on.

*********************************************************************************

Amen to that. The only problem is that Ms. Clare only puts one of these books out a year! Please be sure to visit Ms. Clare at ( http://www.pamelaclare.com/ ) and check out her first two books, Extreme Exposure and Hard Evidence at ( http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/102-5281364-4600142?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Pamela+Clare ) Please be sure to check out the Romance Writer's Revenge ship for Pamela Clare's blog on March 19 and be sure to pick up UNLAWFUL CONTACT on April 01! And that's no April Fool's joke!

Hellion Called Me Out.

2007-10-01T17:38:00.000-05:00

Choose your weapon and take your ten paces- sorta thing.

Except I can't hit the broad side of a bar at ten paces. lol.

This morning a little pirate birdy (Hellion) twirped in my ear (rather loudly if you ask me) that I'd neglicted my blog since July.

Has it really been since July!!?

Yikes. You know that saying where they say, "Time flies while your having fun"?

I think they had a little too much rum to drink when they said that.

I can't say I've done much since July. I have joined a critique group, much to Hellion's urging. The Sassy Scribes suit me perfectly. I love them. I adore them. And there's nothing like meeting early on a Saturday and having an outting that feels more like meeting a beloved girlfriend for coffee. I've been writing on my first novel, Double Vision. It seems to be going well. The beginning is always the hardest for me. But I'm past it now and I'm edging up into the 25k land after having to rewrite 65k words to make my new plot work.

I'm waiting for Autumn to arrive in my land. Apparently MO didn't get the memo that it's now October and officially autumn because it was 90 degrees this weekend.

Anyway, I will keep up this blog. It's my solemn promise as a pirate. Wait. Do pirates make promises?

Yeah, I didn't think so. I'm SO going to dig this pirate thing. *grin*

On the Rack of Lust

2007-07-22T20:56:00.000-05:00

I've roughly written over 500,000 words in just a little over a year since I began my foray into the world of fiction writing. For me, it's hard to believe I wrote anything. I never wanted to really write. The only reason why I did put finger to keyboard was to get something I wanted out of fiction. (And for me, that was purely based on sex. And I wrote plenty of it.) But out of all the words I've written, would I think that anything I've written is good enough to send out? Nah, not really. I write for my own entertainment at the moment, practicing my skill, honing my abilities until one day I'm able to write the way that I think I should. Of course, Hellion, as convincing as ever rubs her hands together in glee every time I mention writing. She's got big plans for me and my writing. She believes one day I'll be published. It's nice to have someone in your corner believing in you when you just want to give up. She's all about me working in her group and after months of persuasion, I think I'm going to do it. If nothing else, it will get my ass in gear. Which at this point in time, is the giant kick in the ass I need. But nothing seems to be going for me in my writing right now. I'm currently in the Land of Missing Muses. Calling Ms. Coco Scarlett, if you're reading this you little bitch, get your ass home!

I want to write mystery. I like the way that mysteries are set up, the way the plot is lined up and the way the characters have to flow off each other to get the job done. But is that what I'm writing now. No. I was until I got to a sex scene and just completely went off the hinge. Which got me thinking, maybe I should write something else and get the sex outta my mind. I like to write sex. I know there are people out there that get all embarressed if they have to write sex, claim a sex scene or even blush at the word, "clit", but not me. Why should I balk at writing about something almost everyone in adulthood does? Why should I pretend to giggle and blush when someone asks me if I write about sex? I shouldn't have to and I don't. I write sex the way that I want to. If I'm writing it and I can't get into it, it won't make the light of day. I feel like if you're writing something you damn well better make the person read it pant and fan themselves like they're having a hot flash. So that's what I do. I only think about sex when I'm writing it. I don't think about walking the dog, or pretending I have a headache, or what if someone catches me...

I think about what if. I think about what if I was walking in the rain and my lead was driving the car beside me, yelling out from the driver's side door.
"Get in the car!" He yelled, the rain soaking his dark hair and dripping into the car. "I'm not going to tell you again before I stop and get out."
I kept walking, fuming about what he'd said at supper about no-commettment-no-rules. How dare he? I knew he would, I just knew it, but somewhere, deep down in there, I was hoping the bastard had a heart. I should've known better.
I heard him swearing, but mostly he was being drowned out by the downpour. The new black dress I'd bought for this occasion was soaked and plastered to me like a second skin.
"Just go home, you asshole. I told you once before I left, I don't want to talk to you. I'm not going to fuck you when I get home and I sure-as-shit am not going to call you in the morning. You get that or you need me to draw you a fucking picture?"
"Fucking Jesus, Sadie." Ash said, his hands slamming down on the steering wheel. I picked up my pace when I heard him slam on the brakes and put the car in gear. I knew this area, whereas he didn't. Just up ahead I could duck into the alley and cut across to my street. He'd never catch me before I could make it Leila's apartment.
"Don't make me chase you, Sadie." Ash said, his feet pounding the pavement behind me. "When I catch you..." I didn't hear the rest of it as my heart was roaring like a freight train in my ears. I rounded the corner in almost a sprint, the rain smacking me hard in the face and stinging my eyes. I darted around a dumpter and shoved the hair out of my face. I knew he was close on my heels. I'd underestimated Ash. He'd done it once to me and now I'd done it to him. Bad mistake. I wasn't going to make it. I was going to have to impervise.
I came out the other side of the alley and rounded the edge to wait for him. I could feel his body heat nearing me and I watched the ground, looking for his shadow. As he grew closer, my breathing changed, deep breaths making me feel as though I was holding my breath, waiting for the right moment. Closer, I closed my eyes and steadied myself. Closer yet, I shifted against the brick wall, downtown was completely quiet. The rain was at monsoon level, the streets flooded, the electricity out. And finally I was at my calmest moment, I opened my eyes and step out from around the building hoping to knock him off balance and run off.
But it didn't quite work out so well.
I stepped out and Ash was prepared, his hands shot out and grabbed a hold of my upper arms, pushing my against the brick wall I'd just been against and his mouth lowered onto my brutually. He pressed his hard body into me at full force, his hands tangling into my sopping hair and pulling my head back until I was at his full mercy. I grasped onto him, hoping that I could push him away but gasping instead when he nipped at my lower lip and pushed his tongue into my mouth. He wrapped around me like a warm blanket, flattening me against him until there was no part of me getting pelted by the rain and I moved against him, unable to stop myself from wanting him. I hated him more than anyone in my life before him, but when he put his hands on me, I couldn't stop him. I ached in more ways than one for him to be pushing my skirt up over my hips and fucking me until neither one of us could stand anymore.

If a scene can't run away from me, then to me it doesn't deserve to be written. I hate to force it. I hate it with a passion. And maybe that's why I'm not dedicated enough to write a mystery yet. I have the plot line all drawn up. I have the characters ready to go (you witnessed them above in a random scene I just made up) and I have a great mystery for them to solve as FBI agents. But I have no dedication to them. Really, all Sadie and Ash want to do it fuck. Constantly. Like bunny rabbits. And I'm not the type of person to deny them that pleasure, especially when they do it so well.

So I was thinking the other day. Why not write an erotica and see if I can do it. Just for the helluva it. In the words of my mother and countless other mothers I've encountered over the years in my sinful days, I'm brazen enough to do anything. Why not do this and challenge myself to take my sex to another level. I think I can do it. So I've put my fingers to the good old keyboard again and started hashing out a story line, knowing that my beginning is going to suck (like always) and then I'll find my groove in there somewhere and it will all make sense. The only problem is, my mind has a mind of it's own. And the story ended up being paranormal erotica. My main male character, Fallon, (I refuse to call him a hero, he's as anti-hero as you can get) is a half breed demon/vampire. And the women he owns, Cinnah, is a half breed vampire/human. So nothing I do can ever be simple. *sigh* I just wanted to write some crazy sex. Cin and Fallon have there own way of thinking... of course. So I'm off to do their biding so that I have some chance of being published in this lifetime.

The Obsession of Writing

2007-06-14T22:16:00.000-05:00

I've never been a talkative person. When I was younger, talking to someone was about as painful to me as a root canal and it's not much better now. I get all flustered and my face flushes pink. I start to get spoltchy and my brain turns to mush. It's frustrating to feel that feeling of my throat swelling closed and I just have to nod, put my head down and walk away. I say this because I was watching my DH today while he was working and was amazed at his ability to just talk to anyone. He literally took someone just walking by and had a thirty minute conversation with a stranger. A comfortable conversation too, like they'd known each other for years. When the guy walked away from the DH, he smiled and waved and the DH turned to me and said, "I have a problem. It's a disease." Then he smiled and I turned into blubering mush like I do so often.

Which got me to wondering- Is the DH's gift of gab much like my love for voicing myself through writing?

The DH and I are completely opposite of each other. It fascinating to me to think of all the things we don't have in common and that we're perfectly happy together. It annoys him that I spend so much time logged on the computer. At first I kept my writing hidden from him, worried that he would think me more of a nerd than he already knows I am; but then he caught me one night before I could shut down the computer when he came home from work. Then we had the writing conversation. "I'm only doing it for fun. I'm bored while you're at work." He shook his head and I'm sure didn't think anything of it.

Only problem was, it wasn't just for fun for me. Writing has turned into an obsession for me. In just a little over a year, I turned from a bookaholic to a writeraholic. I don't imagine that anything will ever come from it, but there's that tiny little fire in my heart that just keeps on living.

Is there anything that you keep secret, just so that you have something for yourself? Something that makes you happy to do? Like reading is my second favorite passion. I leave books everywhere so that at any given moment, I can pick up a book and read a few paragraphs. Was there a pivotal moment when you came out about your writing to a loved one, and you were so excited only to find out they weren't? Does it or will it stop you from doing what you love?